Being one of the participants for this big event was one of my dreams when I was a newbie in the youth ministry of San Mariano – the St. Thomas Aquinas Parish - Catholic Youth Ministry.
I started in a Youth Encounter last October 1-3, 2010. That time, I really do not want to join the ministry. I’m just carried by my friends – Lei, Cess and Hamilcah. That youth encounter had an impact with me. I had a one-week silence afterwards. I became an active youth after that, but for some time, I was still not committed. Years passed by, but still, the ministry was open for those who want to come back and I’m one of them. Our youth coordinator, Kuya Jhed, was still there. He doesn’t stop inculcating in our minds the good things we can get from the ministry and from serving God. I can still remember some of his lines: “Be like Mama Mary.” “We will cross the bridge when we get there.” “God will provide and He is with us.” “Learn to serve others and not to be served.” “Let’s clap our hands three times – Thank You Lord!” All these lines were still in my mind until now. Because of the ministry, I had grown from a childish girl to a matured lady. I found friends in the ministry, not just friends, but brothers and sisters. They know me from the head to my foot. They know my story and they care. I had some experiences on dancing and theater arts because of the ministry. We had even gone to Manila in the celebration of National Sierra Madre Day last September 2012. We had shows for a cause: to help the poor and the needy. We had danced in the fiestas as well as participating street dance for a cause again: to have fund for the outreach programs. I really had so many experiences because of CYM. Although my parents keep on scolding me to get out of the house, packed my clothes and live in the convent, I just let those words come into my right ear and then come out on the other side. Someday, they will realize how the ministry had helped me a lot in my growth and development as a youth spiritually, mentally, physically, socially, and emotionally.
Now I’m a certified CYM member for six years and I’m very proud of it. I had participated and experienced several activities in the diocese like Diocesan Youth Camps and Diocesan Conference for Youth Minsters. I met a lot of people and a lot of good and inspiring stories to tell. Until the day had come, November 11-15, 2015. I joined the National Youth Day at Tuguegarrao City, Cagayan. This was a dream come true and another ideal experience I had. On the first day alone, I had so many realizations through the Holy Mass held at the cathedral and a wonderful experience in the warm welcome of students at Cagayan State University. I can really feel the love in the air that night. Second day had gave me a deeper meaning and understanding of real happiness that money can’t buy. It is being nothing and having nothing. Nothingness brings real happiness – embracing the everyday pain lovingly and letting God work through ourselves holistically. The third day had gave another deeper meaning of having a pure heart. When we live with pure hearts, there’s no room for jealousy, sadness, guilt and madness. There is just one and that is real happiness. I had cried with my foster family. They embraced me with love and care. They let us enjoyed the moment of our youth. The fourth day had gave me the vision to see God – and that is being happy and having a pure heart. One of the speakers told us, “We can see God in the eyes of the poor and rejected. We can see God when we do the good things that pleases Him.” I had met a nun in the Taize learning track. She is Sister Shirley. We admired each other. She told me this: “You had a glow on your face. The appearance tells what the heart was really feels.” Yes, I had that good feeling. Sometimes, I also think to become like her. This NYD gave me an open door to come to the religious life but I’m still searching myself. That day also gave such pressure. I was chosen as the bride who will dance in the Grand Festival Night. This task was not ordinary for I will be dancing in the front of the whole Philippines. I felt so shy but I had the courage to go and believe in myself. Yes, we did it! It was a very fantastic night. We had the NYD wave, cultural dances of the North and live band that made my night really wonderful. As all delegates sang with the song, I looked at the sky and saw three stars which I think symbolizes the Holy Trinity: God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. I whispered, “Thank You. Thank You for everything.” Some outstanding people who had sacrificed their comfortable lives just to serve God shared us their stories. They really seek the real happiness in life. The last day had gave me hard feelings that I will be going home and left the community that had built in those five days. I will miss my new friends from different spots of the country. I will miss everything. But the thing that I will not miss is God, because He is here, in my heart.
-Marian
